The Coalface

Sydney Morning Herald

Saturday November 18, 2006

Jane Dillon

Most people make the "cultural" exchange and head to Britain at age 18 - when the decision to relocate revolves largely around travel, Guinness and post-adolescent, post-exam revelry.

I recently relocated to Britain primarily because of a need for bigger and better professional challenges - in addition to travel and Guinness. And so, after 12 weeks of basking in the Mediterranean sun, I arrived in London to look for a job.

My first interview was with a posh-sounding company in the la-de-dah end of London.

The offices were plush, with views to many landmarks I have since come to recognise.

The fancy surroundings should have impressed me no end, but the man interviewing me spent the entire time staring blatantly at things other than the view, which meant I had to spend a large portion of the interview stooping down in my chair to try and catch his eye.

This is very hard to do when the person opposite you has his gaze permanently set at about 60 degrees. So much for British reserve - this guy seemed to be using an interview setting to channel Benny Hill. Despite being asked back for a second interview, I declined.

My second job interview was in a private members club. Private members club? Surely that's London-speak for strip club? Quite apart from the anxiety about possibly being interviewed by men my mother would suggest were "not honourable" and the dubious location, questions relating to what I should wear to said strip club were mounting, not to mention whether or not I should take my portfolio.

Most people mentally prepare for an interview by doing their "why did you apply for the job?" and strengths-weaknesses answers. I mentally prepared by googling the name of one of the interviewers to see if he had been convicted of any heinous crimes - and emailed various friends his name and mobile number, in case I didn't return from the "interview" by midnight, or the unidentified body of a thirtysomething woman happened to be found washed up on the banks of the Thames.

To be fair, the interview was relatively normal and the club was in fact just an underground pub in central London, so my expectations were way off - which was actually a tad disappointing.

Fortunately, my next interview, while in a coffee shop, went far better. There were questions relating to work, a genuine interest in my professional skills and a request for referees. I start there in two days!

Have you had a weird or wonderful experience at work? Email tcolquhoun@smh.com.au

© 2006 Sydney Morning Herald

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