Surgeon's Knife A Cut Too Deep

Sun Herald

Sunday September 3, 2006

HUGH MACKAY

WHEN NSW Premier Morris Iemma spoke out on the subject of cosmetic surgery for adolescent girls, he struck at the heart of the current culture of obsessive perfectionism. While many people seem to have warmed to his proposal that breast implants, for instance, should not be carried out on teenagers without prior counselling and parental approval, there are broader moral issues at stake.

First, let's acknowledge the exceptions. There are girls - and boys - who suffer from such disfiguring features, either since birth or as a result of accidents, that they should obviously receive whatever help they need to reduce the negative impact of their appearance on their social lives. Burns and other injuries, distressing deformities that can be corrected, and grossly enlarged breasts, often associated with back or neck pain, are all valid cases for consideration.

But what about the girl who simply wants to look sexier and thinks bigger breasts will do the trick? Or the one who is feeling "bad" about herself and has convinced herself (and perhaps even her counsellor and parents) that a breast or nose job would transform her view of herself and avert the onset of depression? For that matter, what about the vast army of girls who undergo orthodontics simply to create a straighter set of teeth and, presumably, a more winning smile?

Every case is unique, and I wouldn't want to be judgmental about any of them. But aren't there some questions worth raising about all this?

For instance, have we unwittingly fuelled our children's quest for physical perfection by overemphasising and overpraising physical appearance? Have we forgotten to mention that no one is naturally flawless and that stunningly attractive bodies are the exception (and may actually be more of a burden than a blessing)?

Have we explained to them that the essence of beauty lies in imperfection? The beauty spot, fashionable in a bygone age, acknowledged this very point. It's the lopsided grin, the crooked nose or tooth, the slow blink in one eye, the asymmetrical ears that intrigue and attract, without us ever quite knowing why.

As part of the mad cult of perfectionism, I suspect we've also gone overboard with the notion of "self-esteem". In our desire to make young people feel good about themselves, we may have neglected to point out that life isn't always fair; that self-doubt is an authentic pathway to self-knowledge; that failure is a thing to be coped with; that constructive criticism can be valuable; that not everything we do is worthy of a gold star.

Perhaps we need to concentrate more on the importance of self-respect, rather than trying to pump up our children's self-esteem. We need to encourage them to understand and accept who they really are (as opposed to what someone else might want them to be), to act in ways that are consistent with their values, and to accept their frailties and even their shortcomings as part of the proof that they are human.

We should also tell our daughters about the women who, having had their breasts enlarged, regretted the operation later in life. Even if there are no physical complications, some women come to realise that they weren't making a free choice, but were trying to impress someone else - usually a partner - and perhaps trying to "save" a relationship.

Eventually, they may wonder whether the kind of person who wanted them to have enhanced breasts or a straightened nose is really the kind of partner they want. Our deepest need is to be loved for who we are, not for what the surgeon's knife did to us.

Email your ethical dilemma to moralmaze@fairfax.com.au

© 2006 Sun Herald

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